Geistlich Auslander

I figured it out tonight. Sure, I began by wondering why such a
simple statement would provoke such a cold start, why the doors to
social circles are always just the wrong shape for my frame. Even
learning the vernacular doesn't really help because the grammatical
structures of my language aren't of this province, of this world
even. I am a stranger in a strange land.

In his novel, "Stranger in a Strange Land," Robert Heinlein places
Valentine Michael Smith, a human born in another world, unexpectedly
on Earth. This man looks like other people, eats the same food,
breathes the same air but his thoughts are not their thoughts, his
statements employ thier nouns and verbs, but his grammar is of
another mind.

You see, Tom, Caesar, I think I have been trying to be Valentine,
aching for the world he never quite fit into to love him. If I were
of this world they would love me. Yet, my citizenship is of another
place.

I feel that I have actually been trying to have my feet in two places
at once. I think I have been trying to get the world to love me. And
the funny thing is that I have been in training for such alienation
all of my life. Maybe it's not just Louisiana, maybe it's only the
beginning of what would come in any place through which I commute.
But I guess in saying this I declare my desire for a homeland.

My focus must be to serve Christ in concern for the world, not having
the world love me for my service to Christ. They, and lately a she
too, actually ostracize me for Christ's name, as He said they would.
I think of the way people make quips like "Still doing the Christian
thing?" or "Well, Isral, you're misunderstanding because you speak
Godtalk." or "Oh, yeah, you're religious." or "You can't adapt
because you're an Absolutist." or even "Don't talk to me about Jesus."

I always miss the obvious hints. Or, as some say, I never listen. I
only hear what I want.

I am here because of Christ's love for the world, and my mission in
His love for the world.

So now I have to reorient my heart... again....